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Saturday, August 15, 2009

First Day of School

Tate started "Big School" at Clarkesville Elementary on Friday, August 7th. We had open house the day before where we saw his classroom and met his teachers. Tate was excited about it until we walked into the classroom. He clammed up and had the worst grimace on his face. I wasn't prepared for that because he had been talking all summer about being so excited about starting Kindergarten. We took the tour, met his sweet teacher, Mrs. Herrin and her Para Pro. Towards the end of the visit (after a dose of sugar cookies and lemonade from the cafeteria) he began to loosen up and I believe, actually enjoyed himself.

I, on the other hand, cried when we pulled into the driveway of the school, choked back tears during open house and cried...well, more like sobbed all the way home. I kept saying to Derek "I just keep thinking about the day we brought him home from the hospital!"

To be honest, I shocked myself with my reaction to Tate starting school. So many of my other Kindergarten mama friends have been dreading this day for a long time, but I felt mostly happy about it because I knew that Tate was ready and that he would do great. The flood of emotions surrounding this day and this past week have truly caught me off guard.

The morning of the first day, we wanted to make it really special, so Derek got up extra early and made pancakes with whipped cream and cherries on top. The pancakes were a hit and we truly had an enchanted morning without fuss that I will remember for a very long time.

When we got to school, Derek, Britton and I walked Tate in. Before we got to the door Tate said "Let's go ahead and hug now" (before we got too close to the door) and he also decided that he did not want to hold our hands anymore. We were shocked that this little 5 year old who we still sing to sleep at night was trying to be so big...and was acting like he didn't need us anymore! Needless to say, we obliged and let him lead the way to his First Day.

He was a lot happier than the day before when we got to his classroom. He saw a few of his friends and after putting away his backpack and snack, went right to his name on the carpet to take a seat. No tears, seemingly no anxiety- he was where he needed to be and quite comfortable with it.

We left the school with a little less tears than the day before- but still a nagging in our hearts. My sweet friends Nancy & Sarah threw a brunch for all of our Kindergarten-mommy-friends. Looking forward to this brunch is partly what got me through the morning- knowing that I would soon be among women that knew exactly what I was going through- even without saying a word. This brunch was a Godsend, girls.

So, here we are 6 days of Kindergarten later and I am pretty sure that I am over the mourning period. Isn't that what we all want? For our kids to be strong and healthy and emotionally stable enough to be secure and happy when they are away from us? Letting go hurts, but the way it happened this past week...I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then there is little Britton. He started a brand new preschool this week- The Little School. He is there 8-2 on the 4 days of the week that I work. His teacher, Mrs. Desi is precious and I know he is loved and cared for during the day. His first day went great when I dropped him off. Mrs. Desi said that he was quiet during lunch so she asked him what was wrong and he said "I just need someone to hold me."!! Can you believe that? When she told me, I almost lost baby...still needing someone to hold him, and that someone wasn't me...yes, I was flooded with guilt.
The next day he clung to me for about 15 minutes before I could get out of the door. Each day after that has gotten better and better and Mrs. Desi says he is coming out of his shell and making friends. I am so glad. It is Britton that I worry the most about- he is reserved and sometimes it is hard to tell what he is thinking. He is a teacher's dream though and seems to reserve his worst behavior just for me.
Being so close to moving into our house...our situation with the hours I put in at work is temporary I hope. I pray for a solution after the baby is born that works for my family and works for Initials, Inc. I am in prayer that it will all work out.
Gosh, I love my boys. All three of them...Derek has been recovering from surgery that he had Wednesday and is not doing as well as I had hoped. We've had a very emotional past three weeks- 2 surgeries, babies starting school, many, many decisions made about the house, sleepless nights, etc. I hope the rest of August isn't so emotionally exhausting.