New Life, Continued

As I mentioned in my previous post, week 1 of Working Motherhood went better than I could have imagined thanks to best friends and Derek.

Week 2 was another story...

Monday was the first day of Preschool for Tate and Brit. Derek and I went together to drop them off and my deep sadness almost knocked the breath out of me. Sad because I saw all of the little sweeties that I had taught the year before, sad because I saw all the ones I would have taught this year and sad because I saw the fear in the eyes of my babies who did not want to go to Preschool. The practical part of my brain had shut off (you know, the part that should have said "Even if you were still an at-home mom, Tate would still be starting Pre-K and a few days a week of preschool would be great for Britton"). Oh, no, I was in full throttle mother-guilt land. I lingered outside of each of their rooms until I was satisfied that they would survive the next 8 hours without me.

I went to work with a pit in my stomach- but through prayer and the reminder that I was still in His will, my day got better. At 4:59 I was out the door and then arrived at Sonya's in under the 8 minutes that it would take a responsible driver to get there.

Alas, they were fine! I was greeted by smiles and sunshine.

So, the days got easier, but the week nights were rough. Derek left on Monday and didn't return until Saturday night. I was a virtual single mother and I didn't fare well. Mind you, I am not one of those "Can't function without my husband" whiny, wives. I survived over 400 days without Derek while he was in pre-deployment, then Iraq. And baby Tate and I managed to make the best of life without Dad when Derek used to travel for weeks at a time early in our marriage. The combination of work, making lunches, boosting toddler's self confidence, fatigue, strong-willed children almost did me in. I try not to cry in front of my children, but I did shed a tear or two that week.

Tate says all Confucius-like at the dinner table weeks later at a large family gathering: "Sometimes mommies and daddies cry. Like mommy cried when I wouldn't get in the car to go to the restaurant." So much for my "got it all together" facade.

Fast forward to weeks 3 & 4...I couldn't be happier and neither could my husband & children. The job is everything I could have ever wanted and my kids are so happy at Preschool and "Mrs. Sonya's house". Every minute that I have with them, I cherish. I am teaching Tate to read and encouraging Britton as he learns his colors, shapes, etc. We are blessed beyond measure.

This is not to say that we do not have difficult days- don't we all. But all in all we are doing great- individually and as a family. I cannot wait to see what the rest of 2008 has in store...